Hey Einnim friends! Every Wednesday this month, you'll be treated to a guest blogger post from one of the fierce female entrepreneurs in our network.
Today, you'll hear from Mary who we met through The Small Project (formerly Bossy Chicago) at the beginning of the year and we've been inseparable ever since 🤗.
We had the opportunity to chat with Mary on her podcast, In Flow With Soul, and figured, "why not keep the conversation going?!"
So, without further ado... meet Chicago-based leadership and mindset coach, Mary.
7 Tips for a Healthy Relationship with Yourself
About 10 years ago, I experienced what many might consider the mid-life crisis.
I was in an unfulfilling relationship that did not nourish me. Although I loved my career, it lacked the opportunities for the success I wanted to achieve. I was unsettled and dissatisfied. My physical health caught up to my emotional state, and my body was screaming at me!
I had a major psoriasis flare-up, and my skin was literally burning from the inside out! My doctor assured me that my symptoms were a result of chronic stress, and once I resolved the stress...the symptoms would resolve. While hopeful, I did not know where to start.
Thus, I began to create a healthy, fulfilling, loving relationship with myself. Here’s how...
Just start somewhere. At that time, I just wanted to find relief. I didn’t have a plan, so I just got started doing something.
Do some digging. For me, the starting point was finding my birth family. Although I knew I was adopted at birth and let it be a part of my story, I had not examined my limiting beliefs or repressed emotions that were intertwined with being adopted.
Connect your mind, body, and spirit. My experience affirmed the power of the mind-body connection. Yes, my body does an amazing job taking care of me, but it was never designed to carry around so much pain for so long. The body reacts to the mind and heart and will mimic their feelings.
Have support. You don’t have to have an army, but have someone who you can trust, speak honestly with, and someone who has your best interest at heart. With the right support, I was able to release and resolve so much emotional energy. Since then, most of my symptoms have cleared up, just as my doctor said. By having the right support to release and work through painful emotions, I have become happier, healthier, and free to become a stronger, more authentic version of myself.
Begin emotional release. Allow yourself space and grace to feel. Learn to embrace and sit in your emotions for a time. Find healthy habits and creative ways to express your emotions and move forward to your most authentic self.
Make time for yourself. Set aside time and during this time, do something that you love to do; something that nourishes your soul. We have been conditioned to put the needs of others first and then—if there is anything left over—we may do something for ourselves. Now, I coach female entrepreneurs to become aware of the beliefs and emotions that hold them back from becoming a stronger version of themselves. I encourage my clients to create a special time and space for themselves each day.
*Note: I like to use the strategies outlined in Hal Elrod’s book, “The Miracle Morning” as a starting point. These include meditation, inspirational reading, exercise, journaling and affirmations. Each of these strategies allows you to get to know yourself and to fulfill your soul. There are many possibilities and ways to use your YOU time. Find ones that are right for you!
Shower yourself with love and attention. What you do to connect with yourself is not nearly as important as the commitment that you will create for yourself. Think back to a time when you were building a new relationship with someone you loved. Do you remember how much time you wanted to spend with them, how closely you listened to understand them, the special effort you put forth to make them happy, or the compassion you gave them even when they made mistakes? Now, use these strategies of time, attentiveness, effort and compassion to build a healthy relationship with yourself. Lavish yourself with these gifts of grace and unconditional love.
Not only do you deserve this level of love and attention from yourself, you NEED this level of love and attention to feel emotionally grounded, healthy and empowered!
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